It's usually the first or second question I get when I first meet with someone: how much will this cost? The answer is: it depends on who is on the other side. I was at a conference on Friday where we were discussing "dirty tricks" the other side can/will/may pull during a divorce. Emptying the bank accounts, freezing the accounts, never moving out of the house- all in an effort to try to get the "upper hand" in the divorce. The truth is, when you pull these tricks, it creates a tremendous amount of tension and anger during and after the divorce. What attorneys sometimes fail to consider is that after the divorce is over, we are no longer in people's lives, but the clients may still have to communicate on a daily basis if there are kids. The true cost of a divorce depends on what tricks the other side tries to pull and how best to insulate my client from suffering at the hands of an attorney who forgets that these are not paychecks, these are people we represent.
In Missouri as in many states, whether one person is "at fault" in the divorce matters, but it probably doesn't matter as much as you think it should or as much as it used to. These days, in Missouri, "marital misconduct" is taken into account in determining whether a person is an unfit parent (a very difficult burden to prove) and in determining how the marital property should be divided. Because marital property is usually divided 50/50, taking into account marital misconduct, even egregious misconduct, will typically only result in a property distribution of 60/40 (40% to the offending spouse). So while a divorce is usually fought over money or custody, there is a way to act in your client's best interests without resorting to "scorched earth" tactics.
When there is a difficult attorney on the other side- one who uses these "scorched earth tactics"- I feel that it is my duty to warn my client that these dirty tricks may happen, and we need to prepare for it. As I often do, I suggest you make sure that your attorney is acting as an advocate for you both during and after your divorce. With a good attorney a $2500 divorce stays at $2500 and doesn't balloon to $25,000 just because. It's true that some divorces are more expensive because there is more to argue about, more to divide, more room to negotiate and more at stake at trial. No matter what assets you have to protect or what custody issues are involved in your case, make sure your attorney is on your side and doing what is best for you.
Take care, Allison
Disclaimer: The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements. Disregard this solicitation if you have already engaged a lawyer in connection with legal matters referred to in this solicitation. You may wish to consult your lawyer or another lawyer instead of me. The exact nature of your legal situation will depend on many facts not known to me at this time. You should understand that the advice and information in this solicitation is general and that your own situation may vary. This statement is required by rule of the Supreme Court of Missouri.
