When is enough enough?

Going through a divorce can be painful enough but then when it's over, if you have children and the other parent has visitation, you are still faced with having to deal with your ex on issues such as scheduling, payment of children's expenses, etc. The truth is that even when you are divorced, when you have kids, your ex will always be a part of your life.

So what happens when that person is uncommunicative, doesn't tell you about children's' activities, doesn't include you in information from the school, and the list could go on. If you have joint legal custody- which is the normal order by the court if there are no extenuating circumstances, what I counsel my clients to do is to put everything in writing. Send an email to your ex stating:

"Dear X, I was made aware that Johnny has a baseball game next weekend during my visitation. In the future, while I'm happy to have Johnny engage in sports and other activities, if those activities fall on my day, please include me in deciding what activities he should participate in."

If that doesn't help, continue with your pleas to your ex to include you in decision-making until you have asked several times and been ignored. At that time, call an attorney. The first step I make is to send a letter to the other side's attorney asking them to abide by the court order and including my client in decision-making or face further legal action. This usually gets people's attention, and if it doesn't work, I file a Motion for Contempt or a Motion to Modify to assist my client in being allowed the full authority granted to them by the Court to participate in their children's lives.

As always, each situation is different and should be assessed by an attorney, but you are not alone in protecting your rights- both as a custodial parent and a non-custodial parent.

Take care,

Allison

Disclaimer: The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements. Disregard this solicitation if you have already engaged a lawyer in connection with legal matters referred to in this solicitation. You may wish to consult your lawyer or another lawyer instead of me. The exact nature of your legal situation will depend on many facts not known to me at this time. You should understand that the advice and information in this solicitation is general and that your own situation may vary. This statement is required by rule of the Supreme Court of Missouri.