Paying for college

People ask me when they know it's time to modify their divorce decree. In Missouri, the standard is that child support is always modifiable if there are "substantial and continuing" changes that justify a modification. What amounts to "substantial and continuing" changes varies from case to case.

One case where modification is almost always appropriate is when your kids are nearing college-age. Somewhere around 15 or 16 you probably begin thinking about a) where your child will go to college, if they are going to go and b) how will you pay for it? (My finance friends will tell you that you should start thinking about how to pay for college when your child is born, but for the vast majority of people who don't have enough saved to pay for college outright, this becomes a concern as your child enters high school at the latest.) When people have young children (usually under the age of 13) a great many attorneys do not address college tuition because it is just too speculative. Before your child enters high school, you may not know if they are going to college, vocational school, junior college, community college, etc. Because you don't have an idea of where you child may attend school, addressing the issue of who is going to pay for what becomes even more problematic. However, once your child reaches age 15 or so, you begin to have some idea of what they might do after high school. If it seems at all possible that your child is going to do any kind of post-secondary education (even a vocational school), it's a good time to talk to your ex-spouse about how those tuition, room and boarding costs are going to get paid.

Talking to an ex-spouse about money is always difficult; impossible even for some. But when you are talking about your children's future, you should do whatever you can to have an open, honest and frank discussion about where you are and what you each can do to support your child's education. The truth is that, especially in these times, you may need to involve your child in the discussion of how to pay for their education. You may need your child to apply for scholarships or student loans if they want to go to college, or if their ideal college is something out of your budget. Any way you go about it, if you can have a productive discussion about paying for college, if you can agree on who will pay for what and how you are going to pay for it, you will save yourself a lot of aggravation... and attorney's fees. That being said, if there is no talking to your ex-spouse, if you cannot get along at all and cannot have a discussion about paying for college, you should call an attorney sooner rather than later. Waiting until the semester before your child enters college can be too late. I suggest talking to an attorney well before your child is even thinking about where they want to go to school so you can give them a realistic view of what you can afford.

Take care, Allison

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