The wedding ring conundrum

I was asked by a friend the other day what she should do with the jewelry given to her by her (now ex) husband. They have 2 young children and she didn't know whether to keep the jewelry (including the wedding rings) or sell them and use the money for the kids. Quite honestly, I had no idea what to tell her. On a personal level, the diamond that I used in my engagement ring was my mom's diamond so I was definitely not going to sell it after I got divorced. I wanted to be able to wear the diamond because it made me think of my mom, but I was surely not going to keep it in an engagement ring setting. My solution: I had the diamond made into a pendant and I had the small stones surrounding the diamond made into earrings for my daughters.

But what to do with my wedding ring? One day when I was going through my jewelry with my youngest, I came across a box I didn't recognize; I opened it up and there was my gold wedding band staring me in the face. It took me a minute to realize that this was my wedding ring- it had been quite some time since I'd seen it. My youngest looked up at me and asked, "Mommy, what is that?" I said "This is my wedding ring from when I was married to your dad." She asked if she could look at it, held it in her hands, and said "When I get older, can I have it?" It was at that moment that I decided, for me, the answer was to keep the ring- not for me, but for my children. "Yes", I said. "You can have it."

Because no matter what the ring meant to me, for my daughter it meant a validation that her parents once loved each other, once cared for each other, and were once happy to be married to each other. While that reality no longer existed, the fact that it EVER existed means a lot to my daughter. So in my case, keeping my wedding ring for my children is the answer, but so is making my engagement ring into different jewelry. It's complicated. My answer is not the answer for everyone, but it's the answer for me.


Take care, Allison

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