When you and your ex aren't getting along

The truth is there are going to be times (for some former couples it may be the rule rather than the exception) where you don't get along with your ex. For those former couples who have kids, like it or not (and like THEM or not) you and your ex are going to be in each other's lives, to some extent, for quite some time. When you're not getting along, that can be a painful reminder of your divorce, and it can be disheartening when you question what it is you saw in that person to begin with.

I told a friend of mine who was not getting along with her ex-husband, that instead of bemoaning the fact that she and her ex were not getting along, she should try and look at that as a reminder of how lucky she is to no longer be married to her ex. Just as I think marriage is a day-to-day journey/struggle/promise to choose your partner over and over and over again, not getting along with your ex can be a reminder that you no longer have to choose that person every day. You don't have to choose to laugh at jokes you don't think are funny, you don't have to listen to music you don't want to, you don't have to sit through watching endlessly boring tv that s/he chooses- you have, instead, chosen to get off that hamster wheel of marriage that wasn't working for you. You have, instead, chosen to find out if there's another hamster wheel you'd rather jump on. You have instead, been given the chance to be happy listening to your music, making your own jokes and watching the boring tv shows of your own choosing. When you don't get along with your ex, try to think, for even a second, how grateful you are to no longer be married to that person. Give thanks for a second (or third, or fourth) chance at happiness. Live your life on your terms and on your own hamster wheel.

Take care, Allison

Disclaimer: The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements. Disregard this solicitation if you have already engaged a lawyer in connection with legal matters referred to in this solicitation. You may wish to consult your lawyer or another lawyer instead of me. The exact nature of your legal situation will depend on many facts not known to me at this time. You should understand that the advice and information in this solicitation is general and that your own situation may vary. This statement is required by rule of the Supreme Court of Missouri.